I'm not feeling very sensational today. Lately, every time I want to blog, I end up reading about Lizzie Borden or Boy A from Japan. or Jesus. Or I read blogs about candy corn with twice as many followers as me and then I want to hammer my face with a....hammer.
The things I would normally tell you about, my favorites, seem annoying and clingy today. Like myself. I'm like a static sheet rubbed on a balloon and affixed to a towel on a hot day. Injected with lethal amounts of crazy.
My favorite candy is Starbursts. But Starbursts are upsetting me today. They're all "eat a lot of me and then go take a nap."
So I listen to my clingy favorite and right before the starburst dies in my throat, it has to be a dick one last time and hurt my teeth.
My least favorite things today are America and Bit O Honey. If either of my kids get ONE PIECE of Bit o Honey in their Halloween buckets I am going to march to that house and force them to eat Capn Crunch Berries until they get at least 5 canker sores on the roof of their mouth.
P.s. My kids are all right.
|Just TRY to give me a Bit O Honey|